House Rules

Have you seen those wall hangings that say "In this house we... " followed with a bunch of "rules" that the family strives to live by? While they are totally cheesy, I love them insanely. I love the visual it provides children, the cozy feeling they give off, and how they remind me to be a better teacher for my own children.

So, when trouble began to arise at home with some serious behavior issues in the kidlets, the three of us sat down when P wasn't home and came up with a version of our own. A couple of these I have been doing with N since before R was born, one is actually something we use when working with the horses, and the rest are just ones we came up with to solve minor frustrations/anxieties in our house.

They may not be perfect, or even for everyone, they are just what our family needed. In less than a week we have already seen a noticeable difference in some of the behaviors that encouraged some of these "house rules".

So, what do these rules mean? We kept the sayings simple and to the point. Easy enough to say out loud where we all understand, but the depth to them is where the beauty lies. We each have our favorite and our number one is out of necessity-- if we don't have it to start our day, the day gets away from us!

5 to Go- This is for the morning or before bed. It's so basic. It literally means that there is 5 minutes to be ready to go-- either for the day or for bed.

Two Eyes- Stolen from one of our favorite horse trainers, and our P, the idea behind two eyes is that if you don't have a horse's eyes looking at you then you don't have its attention. So, if we aren't looking at each other when we are talking, we aren't listening.

Love Hard- Above all love hard. Love fiercely. Even when it's hard, when you're mad and when you feel angry towards another person in the family.

Cuddle in Close- For when you are sad, and you need a cuddle. For me especially, I'm one of those who have issues with being touched too much but I touch on my terms. For the kids to be able to tell me they need a cuddle we can avoid the meltdowns that even grown kids' experience. (This one was created by R.)

Take Your Attitude Off- This one I have been doing with N since he was about a year old. He can get quite the temper at times, and I struggled for a healthy outlet for it. So, one day I came up with this. I have him pretend to grab his attitude or anger off his face until I didn't see anymore and throw it as far away as you can like a baseball. This was almost always followed with smiles and an improved mood.

Charge Your Love Meter- Similar to Cuddle in Close, Charge your Love Meter is something I have been doing with N since he was little too. It's just for those times you just need to feel loved. Not necessarily sad either. We have always said that our heart has a meter, and we hug tight, or the kids just sit in my lap snuggled up to me until their "meter" is full.

Wiggle Your Whinies Away- R is really bad about whining.  And I do not handle it well. AT. ALL. So now if she starts up with it, she has to wiggle it away. Move her body to get those emotions flowing in a better direction.

Shake Your Squirmies Off- Both the kids are big at fidgeting. It's like they have bees buzzing in their bodies and they just cannot physically stand, sit, or lay still. So, channeling a scene from one of my favorite punny movies- Wanderlust, we have the kids literally shake their body, fling it around to get some of that extra energy redistributed and maybe even out of their body. (This being said, we are very big on movement and play. They just have to learn to sit still also.)

Just Be Truthful- Honesty will always get you further in our house. You mess up, break something, hurt your sibling, or forget to do something you were told to do? Just tell the truth. I promise you; in this house we are way more forgiving and understand you being human. Lying about it though?! That's going to always increase you getting in trouble. Liars aren't trustworthy and if you aren't trustworthy then you don't get far in life. If a man or woman does not have their word, they don't really have anything. You know?

So, these are our guidelines in our house. We have others too. Like everyone helps out, pick up after yourself, take a bath, read a book, go outside and play, brush your teeth- but these ones are the ones we find there is a need for either reminders to do it right or reminders that we have always got their back. With a mama who has done work as a birth worker to nannying to now a dispatcher for EMS/LEO/Fire I want my children to know that no matter what I will be there. We will have them at all times and then especially when they aren't sure if they've got themselves. 

And in the immortal words of Professor Snape, ALWAYS.